My Favorite Music of 2018

Earl Sweatshirt - Some Rap Songs

"If you ain’t got shit to say, niggas really are not gonna want to hear you on a loop. You can get away with it when the beat is changing and showing you when the emotion changes. But that loop, that’s just a background."

I was going through some dark times this year, and because of that I deliberately avoided listening to Some Rap Songs. Given that Earl went through his father's death earlier this year, I was hesitant to put myself in that headspace. I'm in a bit of a better place now, so I've spent the past week listening to it. The more I listen and unpack the stuff he's saying, I’m blown away by how affecting it is.

What has always drawn me to Earl Sweatshirt’s music is that he raps with purpose. Even as a teenager, his verses were amazing displays of technical skill. As he’s matured into the artist that he is today, he has also developed a mastery of songwriting. Some of his raps from earlier years are the most realistic and chilling depictions of depression and anxiety that I've heard. Doris marked a shift in tone, and ever since, Earl’s music has been deeply personal. However, back then, it felt like he still had something to prove. As Vince Staples expressed on “Burgundy” even if it was in jest, many fans were enamored more with his rapping ability than what he had to say: “Don't nobody care about how you feel, we want raps, nigga." And the fans got what they wanted, with some incredibly dense and lyrical verses throughout. Some Rap Songs has none of that posturing and finds Earl taking the next step of introspection. It’s such a meticulously crafted project and undoubtedly the most unique and captivating listen of the year.

It’s obvious that none of these songs were intended to ever be played on the radio, let alone be dropped as a single. When “Nowhere2go” came out, he said himself that, “It’s also the first track getting released cause I’m not a single ass nigga. It’s the closest thing I got to a damn single.” What’s clear though is that this is the deepest dive we’ve gotten into Earl’s mind. The production is unrefined with wildly varying quality and polish, and Earl’s raps are not as razor sharp as before. Rather than appearing lazy though, there’s intention behind these creative choices that brings intimacy to these tracks, as if he’s recording his thoughts for himself instead of an audience.

From his great interview with Vulture, Earl discussed the imperfections and subtleties of Some Rap Songs:

"Yeah, it’s more human. ... I always just revert back to when I was younger because that’s when you haven’t learned so much, and all this bullshit hasn’t become, like, calloused on your brain. I go off what would make me soar in my room by myself as a child."

It's often easy to be thinking too much when listening to rap. When I hear someone going off, rapping as fast as they can, I'm no longer interested in keeping up. There's a bit of authenticity lost there. If I need to read genius annotations just to understand what the fuck you’re saying, how can you really be aiming to evoke any sort of genuine reaction? No one thinks like that. What's much more interesting is what Earl is doing here—getting to something real.

And that's what cut through everything for me. The raw feelings as well as the crushing weight of depression were so vivid. I felt the lows of hopelessness, the fleeting but empty reprieve of unhealthy coping, the longing for happiness. As the album closes, the penultimate track "Peanut" is possibly the most emotionally arresting song I've ever heard.

Flushin' through the pain, depression, this is not a phase, ayy
Picking out his grave, couldn't help but feel out of place
Try and catch some rays
Death, it has the sour taste (Sour taste)
Bless my pops, we sent him off and not an hour late
Still in shock and now my heart out somewhere on the range
Outta range, picked the lock and now we elevate
We box 'em out, my shit a million miles away

I haven't experienced anything as traumatic as his father's death, but I couldn't help but be pulled back into it, feeling like you're spiraling with no end in sight and wanting nothing more than to escape. It's overwhelming.

As it segues into "Riot!", the instrumental final track, the guitars and horns of the Hugh Masekela sample give way to acceptance. The sounds wobble and fade out, and it's unclear what's next. In place of an absence of hope is uncertainty. Beyond that though, I can’t help but feel a sense of resolve. In the face of darkness, the best we can do is move forward. It seems so simple, but coming from your lowest point and actually grasping that ideal can be such a painful journey.

Some other bars that I really liked:

Three spliffs had my wing tips clipped, I was stuck in a hangar, nigga
Muffle my pain and muzzle my brain up

Yeah, I think I spent most of my life depressed
Only thing on my mind was death
Didn't know if my time was next
Tryna refine this shit, I redefined myself
First I had to find it

Found a reason to live, doubt could be an abyss
Keep fallacies off your lips, see casualties in the wind

But I'm buggin', I've been spending more money than I'm making
Stuck in Trump Land, watching subtlety decayin'

Tirzah - Devotion

Pusha T - Daytona

Dance contest for the smokers
I predict snow, Al Roker
(If you know, you know)
I only ever looked up to Sosa
You all get a bird, this nigga Oprah

Who else got the luxury to drop when he want
'Cause nobody else can fuck with me? What a show-off

Feds takin' pictures like it's GQ (GQ)
This Avianne collarbone is see-through
Angel on my shoulder, "What should we do?" (we do)
Devil on the other, "What would Meek do?"
Pop a wheelie, tell the judge to Akinyele
Middle fingers out the Ghost, screamin' "Makaveli" (come with me)

Vince Staples & Kenny Beats - FM!

i love kenny beats

Ariana Grande - Sweetener

Travis Scott - Astroworld

Can a rap album be good if the rapper isn't good at rapping? Yes.

Meek Mill - Championships

This album felt nostalgic to me. Championships is like the pre-Soundcloud big budget blockbuster albums that we used to get from rappers at the top of the game. Pretty much every big name in rap shows up on a feature or production credit. What makes it great though is Meek Mill's raps, back with the same intensity that he's always brought to his albums. Every time you heard him on a track, his verses demanded your attention, and newly reborn with a purpose of criminal justice reform, we now have a really good reason to listen.

21 Savage - i am > i was

issa growth mindset

boygenius - s/t

Julien Baker is one of the GOATs at writing about depression

Snail Mail - Lush

Tierra Whack - Whack World

Clairo - diary 001

Mitski - Be the Cowboy

best cowboy album

KEY! & Kenny Beats - 777

i love kenny beats

Sheck Wes - MUDBOY

Troye Sivan - Bloom

Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour

second best cowboy album

Cardi B - Invasion of Privacy

Lil Baby & Gunna - Drip Harder

at least Young Thug is finally being appreciated, even if it's via his protégés

Young Thug - On the Rvn

Future - BEASTMODE 2

i want 2015 future back but also someone please get this man some help like therapy, rehab, anything!

G Herbo & Southside - Swervo

Bad Bunny - X100PRE

idk what he's saying but it slaps

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - s/t

Kendrick Lamar, Various Artists - Black Panther Soundtrack

Mitski - Nobody

Ariana Grande - no tears left to cry

Ain't got no tears left to cry
So I'm pickin' it up, pickin' it up
I'm lovin', I'm livin', I'm pickin' it up

Blocboy JB (feat. Drake) - Look Alive

Tyler, The Creator & A$AP Rocky - Potato Salad

A$AP Rocky sounds like an old man complaining about mumble rap and it makes me feel old. But for some reason I like that feeling? idk

Snail Mail - Speaking Terms

Say what you gotta
Sleep in somehow
Leave things on speaking terms
And I'll see you around

Metro Boomin (feat. 21 Savage) - 10 Freaky Girls

everything about this song: the soul sample, the horns, "In Bikini Bottom, I’m with Sandy", the hook, the outro

21 Savage (feat. Lil Baby & Gunna) - can’t leave without it

Roddy Ricch - Die Young

I rather be judged by twelve, than carried by six
How I'm gon' post bail? Just look at my wrist
Tell me, why the legends always gotta die quick?

Sango (feat. Smino) - Khlorine

Rico Nasty - Smack a Bitch

only bad thing about this song is that Rico hadn't started the "KENNYYYY" beat tag yet

boygenius - Stay Down

Ariana Grande - thank u, next

Rae Sremmurd (feat. Juicy J) - Powerglide

all 4 people responsible for this song are underrated, idc how popular they are

Tyler, The Creator - OKRA

s/o to Valee but I like this better than the original

Tirzah - Do You Know

Lil Baby & Gunna - Drip Too Hard

Gunna (feat. Lil Baby) - Sold Out Dates

Drake - Nice for What

Future - Hate the Real Me

I'm tryna get high as I can
I'm tryna get high as I can
I'm tryna get high as I can
I'm tryna get high as I can
I'm tryna get high as I can
I'm tryna get high as I can, can, can
Damn, I hate the real me
Damn, I hate the real me

Mac Miller - Ladders

R.I.P.

Cardi B - Bickenhead

G Herbo - Who Run It (Remix)

not as hard as the radio freestyle but pretty close

Bad Bunny - NI BIEN NI MAL

idk what he's saying but it slaps

Travis Scott - Stargazing

i kinda feel like he's not going for anything other than literally "this shit is cool" but when you're this committed to being as extra as possible i respect it

Travis Scott (feat. Don Toliver) - Can’t Say

someone please get Don Toliver good producers like Wondagurl for his solo music

Taeyeon - Something New

Taeyeon + the Francis and the Lights voice layering thing is a dream collab I never expected to hear

Drake - God’s Plan

Kacey Musgraves - High Horse

after I heard this song, I spent a few hours listening to country music because I realized that I might be missing a lot of good music...everything else was kinda trash. still love this song tho

Pusha T - The Story of Adidon

Sad that we never got to see the rest of "surgical summer" but glad that someone took Drake down a few pegs. People were really thinking that he's a better rapper than Meek Mill and for a couple days, Pusha T.

Mick Jenkins - What Am I To Do

What's a nigga to do?
'Cause I be streaming black they'll beat me to blue
Put it on TV then tell you what's true
What's a nigga to do?
What's a nigga to do?
When you call the police but the trigger's on you

Peewee Longway (feat. Young Nudy) - Shootem Up Bang

Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future, James Blake - King’s Dead

La di da di da, slob on me knob

Lil Wayne - Uproar

Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper - Shallow

the moment at 1:44 ("live" version)

YBN Cordae - Alaska

Valee (feat. Jeremih) - Womp Womp

Freddie Gibbs (feat. 03 Greedo) - Death Row

Meek Mill - Oodles O’ Noodles Babies

See, I got homie that's a billionaire
And I be tryin' to explain it to him like
If your mom ain't on crack or if she got a job and she doing eight hours a day
And your daddy in the graveyard or in the jail cell, who the fuck gon' babysit?

Saba - PROM / KING

Playboi Carti - R.I.P.

Hoodboi (feat. Tkay Madiza) - Glide

Gunna (feat. Young Thug & Lil Baby) - Oh Okay

Blueface - Bleed It

2019 will be blueface's year, as soon as the drake song drops

EXID - I Love You

i stan ot5

Young Thug (feat. Elton John) - High

Shawn Mendes - Lost in Japan

A$AP Rocky - Distorted Records

ow my ears

Lana Del Rey - Mariners Apartment Complex

Lil Uzi Vert - New Patek

name another rapper who could pull off a 6 minute song about pateks with all these bars:

New Patek on my wrist
White diamonds, them shits hit pink

I am a octopus, I cannot breathe without water
So I put diamonds on my tentacles

Throw up gang signs, Naruto
Put metal in my nose like Pain

XXX - 수작

idk what he's saying but it slaps